Belinda will have her next baby at home

My name is Belinda and I live in a town in the Southern Highlands of NSW.

I have only had one child, and she was born via emergency c section at my local hospital. I had always wanted a very natural, very calm birth and when I was pregnant with my daughter asked my husband about home birthing, but he brushed off my thoughts with a simple “the hospital is the place to be, what if something goes wrong?”

My birth story is one that I have since heard repeatedly. I was late, my daughter was in the right birthing position, was induced, daughter turned a little, nasty midwife, waters broken, put on the drip, told to stay laying down, labour stalled, drip turned up, gets to lunchtime on a friday, doctor (who hadnt seen me at all) declares I need an emergency c section due to failure to progress. (I was told afterwards by a doula I met that the failure to progress was simply the doctor deciding he wanted to go home early on a friday)… After my emergency c section I didnt get a chance to hold my baby, and she was taken away by the nurses to be checked over, where later I learnt that before I got my cuddles she had already been held by nurses, the midwife, her father, my mum and my in laws.. This broke my heart, with feelings of guilt over the way the labour had gone, and the fact that I should have been the one to hold my daughter first..
My stay in hospital was long (over a week) and was treated horribly. I was upset, (which they thought was depression and brought in a psychologist), I couldnt feed, and was forced to shove my screaming daughter onto my breast, and no one would listen to me.

I still feel guilt, and sadness over my birthing experience, and it has taken me a while to realise that I cant do anything to change what happened, but I can learn from it.

I know that next time will be different, I want to have the choice to birth at home, with caring professionals who are responsive to my needs. I know the Government wants to take this choice away from high risk mothers like myself and that makes me mad! I dont care about the cost, I want to birth like it should be, no induction, no drugs, no drip, just me, my support team, in a comfy environment where I am relaxed and the baby is too.