Hathor speaks:
I get asked all of the time, how I decided to have an unassisted birth the first time and a few years ago I wrote about my decision an essay called Pregnancy Log (here’s an excerpt):
Saturday, January 10th
We all go to my first visit with my midwife. She is sooooooo cool. Political and young and has guess how many children? No, guess. Okay, she has 10! My husband and I figure she is definitely an expert at birth. We all get to hear the baby’s heartbeat and I feel the pregnancy is now somehow confirmed. The midwfe thinks that I may be at 20 weeks. And sets my due date for June 6th. I am already telling everyone June 11th, which I will stick to, since I am always late. Finally, she charges $2000 for the birth. How in the heck will I come up with that much money?
Sunday, January 11th
Kevin and I finalize our plans to move to Los Angeles, California before the baby is born. We begin to tell family and I start researching Midwife options on the West Coast.
Tuesday, January 13th
I am a fairly recent convert to the whole thong panty movement. And wrongly suspect that they will make good pregnancy panties. Unfortunately my belly pulls the front forward so that the result is absolute agony in the back and constant embarrassing adjustment. Pregnancy can be so awkward.
Monday, January 19th
I had a dream last night that Kevin and I decided to become porn stars. And we were good at it. I am in reality quite pregnant looking.
Tuesday, January 20th
I speak with a recommended midwife in Los Angeles who tells me that her fees are $3600 and she will knock off a couple of hundred dollars since I will be seeing her for the first time in the 9th month. Yikes. Kevin and I discuss possibilities, should we stay until after the baby is born? But, finally decide that we should go and everything will work out in the end.
Thursday, January 22nd
I ask some of my online friends about midwife advice and receive a surprising number of responses that tell me I should consider unassisted births. I am struck dumb at the idea. Here I am a supposed radical and yet I have a hard time getting my brain around this one. I tell husband about the responses and he rolls his eyes nervously and says absolutely no. I concur.
Friday, January 23rd
I begin researching unassisted birth. There is a ton of info about it on-line. Why did it never occur to me that lots of women wouldn’t have access to midwifery, be able to afford midwifery, or wouldn’t want a midwife/stranger to be a part of their private birth process? My eyes are opening to a whole new idea.
later:
Saturday, February 14th
Had my second appointment with my midwife. Tell her that I am moving to Los Angeles. Disappoint her. She is surprised by my fundal height, which is 29cm. Instead of 24. She has concern on her face, but tells me that luckily I am seeing a midwife so that I won’t need to go in for testing. All I hear is “blah, blah, blah, testing.” My husband asks what would they be testing for? Inside I’m thinking don’t ask that question! She answers “Oh spinal malformations, bifida, stuff like that” We are very, very quiet on the way home.
Monday, February 16th
Research fundal height and find some stuff on the do-it-yourself prenatal care page of the site www.unhinderedliving.com they explain that extreme variations of fundal height can be related to dehydration and also mention diabetes. I consider that I may be indulging in too many sweets and swear off my daily soda. (Don’t freak, it’s organic and decaf! But chock full of sugar!) I also pull my measuring tape out of my sewing kit so that I can check and see if my plan works. Look at me! doing self-prenatal care!
Tuesday, February 17th
Have been devouring every unassisted birth story on the web and joined a couple of list-serves. I broach the subject with my husband again. He listens, yet tells me that I am stubborn to a fault once I set my mind on something and that he won’t be the midwife and that he needs a woman to be present for the birth. Ain’t I a woman?
Wednesday, February 18th
I order Laura Shanley’s book Unassisted Childbirth. I think I may be stubbornly setting my mind. Oh well.
Friday, February 20th
Receive THE BOOK. Carve out a bit of time to read it is awesome. I’m so empowered! I can do it! Yes! Birth is normal, natural and I am a, well I am a Goddess…hee hee. I realize, that until now I have wanting a husband-midwife or friend-midwife or a free-midwife, I decide to reexamine my motivations…and go it alone.
To read the rest of Pregnancy Log you have to buy the book: http://www.thecowgoddess.com/buy-the-book/ : Zines Slings and Other Do-It-Yourself Things. It’s in there, it’s funny. There’s comics too.
So, Gwyneth Kai was born unassisted way back in 2004 and my newest birth was Ean Campbell who was born unassisted in 2009. After his birth I figured it was really time to get serious about finishing the book of birth stories that I started in oh, way back in 2007. So during his nap times I wrote and edited and collated and compiled until the book Simply Give Birth was born.
Simply Give Birth is not a book about homebirth, though all except one birth takes place at home. It’s not about unassisted birth, though most of the stories are unassisted. It doesn’t compare homebirths to hospital births; it has no statistics, footnotes, or expert opinions. It isn’t in your face about anything at all. It’s just some really great birth stories told in a matter-of-fact, simple way. These are the stories that I wanted to read when I was pregnant, and when they’re read all in a row you start to get the gist of what happens in a normal birth. So in a way it’s also a how-to book, but with absolutely no directions. It could even be a textbook for birth education, just without any ‘teaching’ and ‘lessons’. It’s just stories. Simple.
Here’s a few things it does have:
at least one husband’s point of view.
a retained placenta.
surprise twins.
some comics.
a birth on a bucket.
a whole bunch of vbacs.
births that are post-due.
So, anyway, the new book is ready, and though Janet hasn’t been given a copy yet to read (sorry about that! this self-publishing is brutal!) hopefully you can take my word for it, because maybe you can tell, but I think it’s great (and I’m not just tooting my own horn, there’s 28 other authors in this book -Including Janet!)
Love,
Heather Cushman-Dowdee, aka Hathor, aka Mama, long-time creator of the comic, theCowgoddess.com, and the comics over at www.mama-is.com.
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